Chris Moerdyk

So, Mr Zuma: Those high fuel prices bothering you too?

Dear Mr Zuma When you voiced your concern in a speech last week about escalating fuel prices, you can be sure that every single South African, with the exception perhaps of the current Cabinet incumbents and a few hardarses at Sasol, would have been more than willing to forgive you all your past indecretions including…

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Hey Bob! Don’t forget some other people who helped put you where you are

Dear Mr Mugabe Do you get the feeling you are running out of friends? Sure, Thabo and a few other leaders in the region who believe that friendship and old school ties are far more important than petty little considerations such as national interest and starvation are still holding your hand. It’s a friendship that…

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Dear God, South Africa could really use your help again

Dear God Sorry to bother you again, but you did such a splendid job with that Rainbow Nation miracle in the early 1990’s, we’d really appreciate it if you could glance our way again because things are looking decidedly dodgy. For starters, ANC members are fighting among themselves and it has got so nasty that…

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Dear Mr Mandela, or should that be ‘Persondela’?

Dear Mr Mandela While everyone is mesmerised, shocked or thoroughly disgusted by the preliminary rounds of the Thabo vs Jacob punch-up in Polokwane, I know that you are probably deeply disturbed by the unseemly and puerile nature of this egoistic contretemps. I feel it my duty at this painful time for you to try to…

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Dear Jake: Go pee on your bosses’ desks

We could feel the politics even at the final. For example, when the team hoisted President Mbeki onto their shoulders, I swear I could hear Jacob Zuma yelling “drop, drop, drop !”

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Dear Mr Mbeki: You have been well and truly Bush-whacked

Dear Mr Mbeki You will have noticed, I am sure, that when you dismissed Mr Zuma from his post as deputy pres of our country, I did not presume to give you any advice. Nor did I join the ranks of that phalanx of cheeky buggers who insisted on telling you what to do when…

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Dear Mr Zuma: So what’s your next move?

Dear Mr Zuma My excitement has gone beyond fever pitch and well into the realms of renal failure in anticipation of just how you are going to steal the limelight back from the Pres. You must admit he’s been pretty darn shrewd firing old “prosecute-and-be-damned-Pikoli” so soon after getting at that attention from firing the…

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Dear Boet

Dear Boet Well, if it’s a letter from you, it must be September. The same thing, year in, year out. You get miserable, maudlin and generally the moer in with the prospect of another winter in Europe and start pining for South Africa’s sunny summers. Frankly, I don’t know why on earth you don’t just…

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